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If harmony is expressed outwardly while resentment is harbored within, certainly there will be some resentment left over. How would this type of action be considered good? Naturally a wise person keeps track of debts, but doesn't make demands from others. Therefore, those with De oversee accounts; Those without De oversee exacting fines. So the way of Nature is to hold nothing dearer to it than anything else, constantly sharing its goodness with each person.  Commentary: 79 ~ Harboring Resentment -If harmony is expressed outwardly while resentment is harbored within, certainly there will be some resentment left over. -How would this type of action be considered good? People can get into disagreements and arguments with each other. They may shake hands and make up, but some people keep holding onto a feeling of resentment and carry a grudge, looking for some way in the future to get back at the person who made them mad. What’s the point of pretending to make peace with another person as long as you were still feeling like you wanted to get back at them? -Naturally a wise person keeps track of debts, but doesn't make demands from others. Someone who realizes that holding onto bad feelings toward another person and wanting to get back at them just causes themselves more stress wouldn’t do that. They might remember a wrong that was done to them by someone, and feel a sense of hurt from it, but they wouldn't try to wreak havoc on the person who harmed them. -Therefore, those with De oversee accounts; -Those without De oversee exacting fines. When someone has connected and become comfortable with their own sense of who they are, they'd lose the need to want to get back at anyone else for anything they did. They might remember what happened so they can watch out for how that person could act in the future, but they wouldn't go out of their way to cause them harm. Someone who hasn't developed a sense of their own self-worth would remember every wrong that had ever been done to them, and wouldn’t be able to let go of it. -So the way of Nature is to hold nothing dearer to it than anything else, constantly sharing its goodness with each person. Nature doesn't hold grudges or look to get back at anyone. It’s true that we’re people who have emotions, but we can still find a better way of dealing with those emotions by checking out Nature. Rain doesn’t ruin your plans for a picnic because you were bad, nor does it wash the dust off your car for you because you were good. It’s not up to you to punish people you think didn’t treat you fairly. A very smart friend of mine once told me that if you carry around resentment towards someone, you do more harm to yourself than you do to them. If you truly want to find happiness and love, why would you carry the heavy load of resentment? Alternate translation: If you pretend to make peace with someone after an argument, while still feeling mad at them inside, the anger can keep building. How could anyone think that would be a good thing to do? Someone who can let go of their anger might remember the argument, but woudn’t want to get revenge on the person who argued with them. Someone who doesn’t need another person to agree with them in order to feel better about themselves just watches what’s happened.. Someone who can’t get over their anger seeks revenge. The way to live a happier life is to not depend on other people to make you feel good, but to let go of the anger and share your happiness with others, regardless of what they did in the past. | BY: Nina | Guodian Laozi | DDJ Concordance | Comparisons | Who was Laozi | | Return Home | Laozi's Dao De Jing | Your Dao De Jing | Zhuangzi (Chuang Tzu) | Links | Meditation | Dao (Tao) is Open Forum | Book List | Other Stuff | |
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