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Translation and Commentary by Nina


	Dao De Jing Chapter 20 Get rid of learning and heavy thoughts will vanish. An agreeable purr or a loud rebuff - how much distance is there between them? Beauty or ugliness - how can they be differentiated? If a person sets themselves up to be feared, they also can't, because of taking that position, stop fearing other people. They're still groping in the darkness! They haven't yet found a core within themselves on which to center! Everyone looks so splendid and magnificent, as if they were leaving the countryside to attend the Great Sacrifice festival, when in the spring they climb high terraces to observe the ceremonies. I see myself as alone, as one who hasn't yet been given a sign - like a baby who hasn't yet been conceived. So tired! Like there's no place where I belong. Everyone else has more than they need. I alone have left all that behind. I have the mind of a foolish person. Confused and disoriented! A person involved in the world is so clear and bright; I alone seem to be bored! A person involved in the world is always investigating the things around them; I alone am in darkness and confusion! Uncontained! In a way that seems like the ocean. Groping in the darkness! Seemingly without a place to stop. Everybody else finds a way to be like one another; I alone see that as an entrance to stupidity as well as vulgarity. My desires alone are so different from other people's, yet I value being nourished by what created me. Commentary: 20 ~ Alienation -Get rid of learning and heavy thoughts will vanish. Not only do we try to figure out what our purpose is in life, but we also try to figure out how we fit in with everyone else and what it is they want from us. It might seem like a big mystery we can solve if we delve deeply into ourselves and into other people's minds. Instead of experiencing life, we seem to be on a constant journey trying to understand the workings of the mind. If just for a moment you can give up looking for those answers, a great weight lifts from you. -An agreeable purr or a loud rebuff - how much distance is there between them? -Beauty or ugliness - how can they be differentiated? One of the things we try to figure out is why we might be soft and agreeable in one moment, then gruff and harsh in the next. We also want to figure out why other people act that way as well. Are emotional reactions really that different? Is one reaction preferable to another? Is being agreeable seen as being beautiful, but harshness seen as being ugly? Do you want to embrace one but run away from the other? -If a person sets themselves up to be feared, they also can't, because of taking that position, stop fearing other people. -They're still groping in the darkness! -They haven't yet found a core within themselves on which to center! People use aggression and harshness to cause fear in someone else. If you use tools like that as a form of power over another, then other people can use that same tool against you. Once you give anything power it can backfire. If another person's words can cause you to have fear and anxiety, that means you haven't yet found the confidence to believe in yourself. When you find and accept the core within you that makes you the person you are, then that core becomes a strong basis around which other things can spin without doing harm. Laozi then starts speaking about his own feelings from a personal perspective: -Everyone looks so splendid and magnificent, as if they were leaving the countryside to attend the Great Sacrifice festival, when in the spring they climb high terraces to observe the ceremonies. -I see myself as alone, as one who has not yet been given a sign; like a baby who hasn't yet been conceived. -So tired! -Like there's no place where I belong. Everyone else looks like they're going to a party without a care in the world. I'm sitting here not having a clue as to which direction to go. I seem like a bunch of cells that have been lumped together, but I'm still waiting to have some recognizable shape. I get so tired. It's like I can't find any place where I can fit in. Everyone else has beliefs, truths, all the things that make them feel settled and comfortable. I just seem to move from one thing to the next, never being able to hold onto anything. -I have the mind of a foolish person. -Confused and disoriented! -A person involved in the world is so clear and bright; I alone seem to be bored! -A person involved in the world is always investigating the things around them; I alone am in darkness and confusion! -Uncontained! In a way that seems like the ocean. -Groping in the darkness! Seemingly without a place to stop. Most of the time, I'm a complete fool. I just don't seem to get it. Those people who are involved in all the amusements of the world have so much to do all the time, and they seem to know exactly where they're headed. I'm the only one who seems bored with the whole thing. Those people involved in the amusements of the world are always finding something new to entertain them. I'm the only one who doesn't understand which way I'm going. I don't have any boundaries - appearing like a vast ocean that simply reflects the sun. I just grope my way along - not finding any place where I can stop and settle. -Everybody else finds a way to be like one another; I alone see that as an entrance to stupidity as well as vulgarity. All the other people I come across manage to find ways to relate to each other. They set up societies and follow the rules, grouping together with others who think the same way they do. Sometimes they even pretend to feel like each other in order to be accepted. That just doesn't work for me. I see that type of conformity as promoting stupidity and bigotry. -My desires alone are so different from other people's, yet I value being nourished by what created me. Yes, I'm quite different from the mainstream. Even so, I do find solace in the fact that I'm just following my own course. An interesting thing is that even though we might not see how we could fit in with the rest of the world, there's no reason to be upset by that. We each have our own path to follow. Laozi might have been being cynical when he spoke about how everyone else appeared to be so much happier than he was. In the end, he sets forth the idea that at least he's being an individual, which can bring much more contentment than always trying to follow others. So, maybe the answer to not feeling alienated is to be yourself. Flow like a wave on the ocean, intermingle with the other waves, but don't lose the treasure of who you are. 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