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Eliminate cunning intelligence; abandon critical judgments, And people will benefit a hundred times over. Eliminate skillful opportunism; abandon the hierarchy of profits, And thieves will have nothing to covet. Eliminate deceptive disguises; abandon sources of anxiety, And people will return to the innocence of childhood. Just following these three statements isn't enough. Therefore, make sure there's a place to add these: Seek out what's pure. Protect what's simple. Trivialize selfishness. Diminish desires.   Commentary: 19 ~ Relating To Other People Many people feel the only way they’ll be accepted and loved by others is to pump themselves up in a way that would make others feel they wanted them around in their lives. -Eliminate cunning intelligence; abandon critical judgments, -And people will benefit a hundred times over. They use their quick wits to show how intelligent they are. They make judgments about how terribly other people choose to live their lives in order to make themselves appear to be better than others. What they don’t realize is that they’re also demeaning the people they’re trying to get close to. You can build much stronger friendships and help others in the process by not trying to appear better than them. -Eliminate skillful opportunism; abandon the hierarchy of profits, -And thieves will have nothing to covet. They use their skills to bilk others out of their money. Then they prance around with all the possessions they have as though those possessions are more valuable than what others have. If people didn't do that, then there wouldn't be thieves around trying to steal what they have. -Eliminate deceptive disguises; abandon sources of anxiety, -And people will return to the innocence of childhood. They disguise their true motivations in an effort to get others to trust them. When they've gotten people's trust, they stab them in the back. It's no wonder those who have been taken advantage of feel apprehension and anxiety when interacting with each other. If people didn't do that, then everyone would be able to retain the innocence of a young child in their relationships with each other. -Just following these three statements isn't enough. -Therefore, make sure there's a place to add these: Even though eliminating the three behaviors mentioned above would make our relationships with others better, it still wouldn't be enough. The Laozi suggests adding these as well: -Seek out what's pure. Look for what's pure in other people. There are those moments when people will let down their disguises and reveal the tender child within them. Seek out that part in others, and show them appreciation for it. They’re probably not used to that, as most people they encounter would consider those feelings to be weakness and would only praise strength. -Protect what's simple. When someone shows delight in simple things, like enjoying a sunset or watching a bird fly across the sky, cherish that part of them. Too many times people are criticized for enjoying the simple things in life, as though the only things of value are wealth and power. -Trivialize selfishness. Don’t make other people feel like they have to do what you want them to do in order to be accepted and appreciated by you. If they can see that you’re not tying to make them into what you want them to be, and how much fun it can be to explore each other just the way you are, they might let go of their own selfish desires to make you into what they want. -Diminish desires. If someone feels that they can't be happy because they haven't fulfilled the accomplishments they set up for themselves, help them to see that they’re still wonderful people for who they are regardless of their accomplishments. Every day is a beautiful gift in itself, and regretting the fact that one didn’t get something out of their reach can just diminish the enjoyment of life. Alternate translation: If people weren’t trying to outwit others and didn’t make harsh judgments Everyone would be much better off. If people weren’t sneaky around trying to get what they wanted and didn’t make a big deal about having money Thieves wouldn’t find anything to go after. If people didn’t try to pretend to be somethng they’re not and didn’t make others feel stressed out for who they are Eveyone could be as receptive as children. But those three things aren’t really enough. Add these too: Look for what’s innocent in others. Protect their ability to express their innocence. Let them be who they are instead of what you want them to be. Appreciate what they already have. Dao Is Open Site Map | BY: Nina | Guodian Laozi | DDJ Concordance | Comparisons | Who was Laozi | | Return Home | Laozi's Dao De Jing | Your Dao De Jing | Zhuangzi (Chuang Tzu) | Links | Meditation | Dao (Tao) is Open Forum | Book List | Other Stuff | |
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